Anniversary
by Tessaryll Tervana
Summary: Harry has left Draco. 3 years on, on their anniversary, what is Draco feeling? Then a mysterious visitor from the past... Probably oneshot, happyish ending. Rated for a kiss. slighty-AU. Post-Hogwarts. WIP
1. Hell

A pale stream of sunlight lit the room

A pale stream of sunlight lit the room.

It was silent save for one sound.

It was empty save for one person.

It was normal but for one thing.

It was fine but for one emotion.

Next to a large bed, knelt a man. With his head in his hands, with his legs bunched up to his chest, with his pale blond hair shielding his handsome face. His body hunched over itself, he was the picture of misery.

The only sound was his tormented sobs. He cried ceaselessly. His lithe body shook uncontrollably as he moaned in his grief.

Outside the house, a group of worried people waited for someone to answer the door.

His friends, his family, all had come to protect him.

To protect him from himself.

Their conversation was worried and tense.

"What if he doesn't hear us?" asked Pansy breathlessly.

Her fiancé put an arm around her shoulders and held her close, consoling his frantic wife-to-be.

"Calm down Pansy," he said. "Draco will be alright. He always is."

Blaise cut in, ignoring his wife's restraining hand.

"Nonsense Ron! There is no use in giving her false comfort. Not _today_ of all days. Not _now _of all times. He is not all right. He _never_ is. Not today. Never today. Not until _he _came back."

Hermione hugged her husband close as he finished his tirade.

"Blaise! Really! You shouldn't ha—"

She was cut off as the door opened. The group turned and waited.

"Sirs, Madams, the Master is not seeing anyone today," said the impeccable butler.

"We know that! But we have to see him! It's extremely urgent!" cried Pansy impatiently. "We go through this every year! Just let us in already!"

The butler bowed and stood aside.

The worried friends brushed past him and ran for the stairs.

"Come on!" shouted Hermione.

They reached the closed oak door and stopped, suddenly falling silent.

Pansy took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Even though they knew what they would see, it took them all by surprise.

Hermione gasped and slowly moved to his side.

Crouching next to him, she placed a gentle hand on his back before pulling him into a tight embrace. The others crowded round, silently offering their support.

"Draco. Oh Draco!" crooned a distressed Pansy.

"Draco! You have to stop doing this to yourself! It's been 3 years!"

This merely caused the shaking heap to moan and a fresh wave of tears to course down his white cheeks.

By this time, all of Draco's friends were holding back their own tears as they tried to pry their friend out of his misery.

"Draco. Please. Come back to us. Let us help you. Please," murmured Hermione, careful not to touch his hair.

Within weeks of _his_ departure, Draco's friends soon learnt of this strange taboo. Draco would let no one but _him_ touch Draco's beautiful, silky, and soft blond hair. No one but _him_ was allowed that privilege.

The thin stream of sunlight moved across the room as the day wore on, the only sounds being that of quiet breathing and of heartbreak.

Draco continued to mourn as the sun crept across the blue-grey sky. At dawn he ceased, reduced to a quiet whimper.

Slowly, he pushed his way out of his friends' embrace and hobbled over to the windowsill.

In a voice weary from long disuse he whispered.

"Oh Gods Harry. Why did you do this to me?"

The question hung in the air for a moment before Hermione motioned for everyone to leave their grief-stricken companion alone.

The last to leave, she closed the door softly behind her.

"Come on. We'll wait in the study."

"Why Harry? Why?

What did I do wrong? What did I do?

I still remember that argument. I still remember those words."

"_I just want you to be safe! I just want you to be happy!" Draco had yelled as he pleaded with his husband._

"_I am happy! But I can't just settle down and forget about the world! Forget about everything I haven't seen, everything I've never done, everything I'll never __do__ if I stay here!" Argued the tall man with emerald eyes._

"_But I love you! Isn't that enough?" Draco's voice dropped to a whisper and his voice quivered as a lone tear fell from his piercing blue-grey eyes. Draco closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to remain calm._

_There was a pause. And then silence._

_Draco slowly opened his eyes. Harry was gone._

_Draco slowly lay down; sure that Harry would be coming back. With this in mind, he drifted off into a restless sleep._

_Near dawn, a figure crept into their room. He laid a note on the pillow next to Draco and slowly reached out to touch his face._

"_I love you Draco. Always and forever. I'm sorry." He whispered._

_In his sleep, Draco whimpered and leaned in to Harry's touch._

_The figure stooped to kiss Draco's forehead, and then his lips._

_Then, he was gone._

_Draco woke up. Turned over. Saw the note._

_Draco,_

_My love, when you read this, I will be gone. I am sorry. More sorry then you could ever imagine, but I must go. I cannot stay here while there is so much left to do._

_Do not think I don't love you, for that is far from the truth. I love every part of you, all of you and will forever. Beyond forever even, for always. _

_I will miss you. Oh Gods how I will miss you. But I must go._

_With all my love,_

_Harry_

_A wounded cry of disbelief escaped Draco's lips. _

"_No! It can't be… Harry wouldn't… Harry! Harry!"_

_Cried Draco desperately._

_He sank onto the bed as the truth slowly sank in._

_Suddenly, it hit._

_Harry was gone._

_At this realization, Draco went mad with grief. His body shook and he cried until no more tears were left and he could only sob, rasping and coughing._

_He didn't want to live._

_He didn't need to live._

_He couldn't bear to live._

_His friends had found him later that day, still convulsing and clutching a potion in one fist. A potion to rid him of all his memories. Forever._

_Horrified, his friends learned the truth and began to sort Draco out._

_Over the course of the next 3 years, Draco had managed to recover, if only slightly._

_One time, he became so drunk that he was in the hospital for weeks._

_Another time, he overdosed on his prescribed anti-depressants and was in the hospital for a good few weeks._

_Draco lived recklessly during the first year, defying death at every turn. But he lived, he survived, no matter what beatings his body had endured Draco survived._

_His friends could only watch helplessly from the sidelines as Draco did everything short of be-heading himself to try and die._

_After the second anniversary however, Draco stopped._

_Stopped everything. His trips, his job, his communications, everything. He wouldn't speak, he would barely eat, and he rarely left his room._

_Unsurprisingly, this worried Hermione, Pansy, Ron and Blaise even more._

_It seemed Draco had lost the will to live._

"Oh Harry! Why did you leave? Was I not good enough? Did I do something wrong? Please, just come back. It has been three years Harry. I can't live like this much longer."

Draco cried out and fell to his knees, new tears once again falling down the well-worn tracks on his cheeks

"Empty spaces, what are we living for?

Abandoned places, I guess we know the score.

On and on, does anybody know what I am looking for?

Whatever happens, I leave it all to chance,

Another heartache, another failed romance

On and on does anybody know what I am living for?

I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now

I'll soon be turning, round the corner now

Outside the dawn in breaking,

But inside in the dark, I'm aching to be free…"

Sang Draco quietly. His voice, always pure, took on a haunting quality as he half-whispered the words.

He had once loved to sing, Harry had once loved his voice and begged him to sing often. It had been happy songs then, songs of love, happy endings, and fairytales.

Now Draco never sang. Hadn't for 3 years. But his voice had not lost its quality through its years of disuse. Instead it had matured and deepened with emotion.

As he sang, Draco poured all of his feelings into the music. So concentrated was he, that he did not hear the door slowly opening, and the gasp that accompanied the entrance to the room.

Draco's voice faded as he sank down, drowning in tears.

Suddenly, he heard the footsteps that had moved behind him.

Draco whirled around, forgetting his kneeling position.

The stranger reached out and caught him before Draco could fall completely.

The stranger pulled Draco up and Draco looked up involuntarily.

He gasped and felt faint. It couldn't be…

"Harry?" he whispered.

Harry leaned forward and enveloped Draco, pulling the shorter man tight against his body. One arm wrapped around Draco's slim waist as the other tangled itself into Draco's soft locks.

His mouth hovered over Draco's and moved forwards cautiously until their lips brushed. Eager, Draco pushed forwards against his lover's body and thrust his tongue into Harry's mouth.

Harry groaned audibly and responded.

When they finally broke apart, Draco moaned softly and stared into the emerald eyes he so loved.

"Harry?"

"I'm sorry my Dragon. I'm so, so sorry." Murmured the black-haired figure.

Draco buried his face into Harry's neck. Hot tears splashed the bronzed skin as Draco trembled.

"Shh. It's all over now. You're here. With me." soothed Harry. Slowly, he sank down against the wall, pulling Draco down with him.

"I'm sorry," rasped Draco. "It's just, you've been gone for so long, I thought you weren't coming…" He sobbed and shook.

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco and continued to hold his distraught lover close.

"I'm sorry my Dragon. I should never have left."

A while later, once Draco had been calmed, the pair moved to the bed and lay quietly. Content in each other's arms.

Draco broke the silence first.

"Are you staying?" he asked tentatively, dreading; yet needing the answer.

He was rewarded when Harry answered without hesitation.

"Yes my dragon. I will never leave again. I missed you for every single minute we were apart."

Content, Draco leaned up and smoothed Harry's unruly hair and traced the lines of his face.

Harry sighed and began stroking and massaging Draco's hair. Draco moaned softly and moved into Harry's hand.

Lulled by the rhythmic sensations, Draco drifted off into his first peaceful sleep of 3 years.

Harry soon followed.

The pair slept a restful sleep. For they were each right where they should be; in each other's arms.

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, only the situations I put them in. I also don't own the lyrics to 'The Show Must Go On' by Queen.**

**Strange one-shot that popped into my head. What do you think? Reviews are always welcome.**

**Thanks!**


	2. Limbo

Draco woke up, strangely content

Draco woke up strangely content.

He usually woke up only to lie listlessly in bed until someone forced him to get up.

Not today. Today, Draco woke up, sat up and stretched. He lay back down and turned over, brushing something solid in the process. Startled, he pulled back and recognized his husband, Harry.

Sighing softly, Draco brushed a gentle hand on Harry's forehead, caressing the tanned skin. In his mind, Draco went over yesterday's events. When his memory replayed Harry's return, Draco concentrated on his partner's words. He went over and over their conversation; as anger slowly filled his too-thin body, he turned over and began pummeling his sleeping partner.

"I can't bloody believe you! You selfish, heartless, bloody great prat!" screamed Draco, his voice rising as he began his tirade. Harry woke up with a start, looking around for the source of this abuse; sitting up with worry, he held his arms out towards Draco.

"Dragon? Love? What's wrong?" he asked, genuinely perplexed.

"You're what's wrong! I can't believe you had the audacity to waltz back in here, expecting me to just take you back like nothing had happened! How dare you leave me here for three years! Three bloody _years,_ Harry. Not three days, not three weeks, not three months, _three bloody years_!" Draco continued punching Harry as he spoke, realizing the truth of the statements coming out of his mouth. For his part, Harry began to slowly understand why Draco was so mad. He reached out and caught Draco's hands before interrupting.

"Draco. Draco. Calm down. I'm here now, I'm not going away again, and I love you. Isn't that all that matters?" he questioned.

Silence reigned before Draco started to laugh. A bitter, cynical laugh that did nothing to alleviate Harry's worry; in fact, this only served to intensify it.

"Draco? Draco? What's wrong?"

"Harry. Oh Harry, Harry, Harry," said Draco, still chuckling. "You sound just like I did, when I was begging you not to leave. Almost the same words came out of my mouth then. And your response?"

Draco deepened his voice to imitate Harry's.

"'That doesn't matter! There are some things I need to do alone!'" Draco glared into Harry's eyes, daring him to deny it.

Harry dropped his head in guilt.

"I'm sorry, Draco." His voice was quiet, ashamed; but yet again, Draco's laugh rang out.

"You're sorry? You're _sorry? _Forgive me, _Harry,_ if I don't believe that. If you were truly _sorry, _you'd have come back far sooner," sneered Draco, injecting every syllable with all the nastiness the young Malfoy lord could summon.

"You know as well as I do that _sorry _doesn't help. When Sirius died, did _sorry_ help? When Dumbledore died, did _sorry_ help? When you left me, did _sorry_ help?" Draco paused, letting the last sentence ring in the still air.

"No. It didn't. But now you think it will? Merlin, _Potter_, _sorry_ doesn't help." Draco stood and stalked out of the room, leaving a torn man behind.

Harry sat still, shocked to the core by Draco's words. He knew that the blond man was right. He knew that he deserved everything Draco had just said. But he hadn't known how much it would hurt to be called '_Potter'_ again.

Harry remembered the expression on Draco's face as he left the room seconds ago.

He remembered the way his body shook with fury.

He remembered how his soft lips curled into his trademark smirk.

But most of all, he remembered the look of implacable hatred in Draco's silver eyes.

Now Harry finally understood. It had been only a few minutes since Draco had gone, but already Harry felt as though he was slowly falling apart. Already he could feel the tears come to his eyes, already he could feel the emptiness inside him and the growing loneliness in his heart.

And now Harry knew what it had been like for Draco.

But Draco had survived. For three years, he had dealt with this pain on a daily basis. Harry was in the first few minutes of crushing pain, and already he was prepared to just give up. For the first time, Harry marveled in the strength of Draco's character. And for the first time, Harry realized what a genuinely heartbreaking thing he had done to the one he loved. He no longer wondered at Draco's anger; instead, he wondered why Draco hadn't been angri_er._ But there was no time to ponder that now.

He had to find Draco and stop him before it was too late.

**Here is the next chapter. Hope you like it! I have a new beta: **_**eleventseven**_** she's absolutely great! Thanks so much!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters; I just play around with them**


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